I heard some where, that the best way to write and be good at it, is to write what you know. Well I am going to be very honest and open in this blog post, because I, unlike someone of my closet friends have still not been able to find Mr. Right… I have found mr.right.now…mr. I like you but not how you like me back, and I have found the Mr. Ass Hole[s]. Being 30 and looking back to when I was just coming into my teenage years, I thought I would be the girl who would romantically fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. This has yet to come to me.
You may ask yourself, why am I sharing this with you? Well I am a very open and honest person, and I know or at least I hope – there are others out there like myself that are still asking themselves “Is there someone out there for me?”
That feeling you get when you start hanging out with a boy – going to movies, having dinner together, introducing him to your friends, hanging out doing fun cute things and then all of a sudden its like “umm you know were just friends right?” This is probably the worst feeling in the world. Cause here you are – emotionally attached to this guy and now he’s telling you that its not going to go anywhere…so now what?? well over time I have learned “How to Get over Your Crush” in the most sane, un-slutty, mature way possible. So that is what I am going to share with you.
When all the truth is laid down in front of you, and you know that – This guy will never be THE guy – (1) You have to tell him to have respect for you and your feelings and to not message you when he’s drunk, lonely or wanting someone to hang out with. Because THIS IS NOT FAIR TO YOU. And please don’t think that he’s “changed” or he’s “come to his senses” because chances are, he’s just bored and lonely and looking for that comfort he can find in you. Because I guarantee once that evening is over – you wont be a couple and nor will you hear from him the next day. (Its the harsh truth, but its THE truth).
(2) Once you have told him how you feel…and that you know its not going to escalade to where you would hope it would… try this silly – but effective technique… Look at yourself in the mirror and say “Its just a crush, I will get over it, I will get over him, Its just a Crush”. When you tell yourself this – looking yourself in the eye – you will see your reflection looking back at you and you will soon realize that “Yes it is just a crush and Yes I can get over him”
(3) Time releases all truth…what I mean by this, is that once you have admitted, and accepted the situation between you and your crush.. you may realize that he wasn’t the one that you thought he could be. What I mean by this, is that maybe the two of you were never really compatible, maybe you were just smitten with the idea of this boy in your life – or maybe you will find out that he is not as good as you made yourself believe.
(4) The hardest one of all…Don’t take it to heart. Just like you can’t control your feelings for him, he cant control his feelings for you, and the last thing you would ever want is a guy to ‘like you’ just for the sake of it. You want it to be real between the both of you. Imagine if a guy liked you, and you wanted nothing to do with him because your feelings were nothing but the opposite. This is what you have to remember when a guy doesn’t like you back the way you like him. Its not always up to you to decide who should like you and who shouldn’t and have the attitude of “well I like him, so he should like me too” this is very vein and selfish. (sorry girls, the truth hurts – but I only speak it)
(5) Be Honest with Yourself and Have a Good Cry…Once you have dealt with your crush, told yourself its just a crush – its okay to allow yourself to feel hurt, because sweetie; you are hurt – your emotions were hurt. The best way to do this is by having a good cry, waking up in the morning and shaking it off. Knowing that your day now wont evolve around what he is doing, rather then what you need to do for yourself. Take that Yoga class you keep canceling, or buy some art supplies and paint, go shopping, spend your days with girlfriends, have a relaxing day at the spa – without being worried he may call and want to see you. This is your time, enjoy it.
(6) Take a Break – take a break from the dating world, the boy craziness in you and just focus on yourself. Like I said earlier, not having a crush on a boy, may be the best thing for you – because this is the time you have to focus on yourself. If you have the means to do so, take an actual break – go on vacation – go travel somewhere that you have always wanted to see – but didn’t want to leave your crush behind. Its amazing what you will do, or not do, just because you are head over heels for a boy.
… As we all are, I am still learning how to get fully over a crush, but I know THESE thing for certain – you will get over him, you will not spend endless sleepless nights thinking about him and what could be, and you will one day find the guy that is Mr. Right. Thats a Promise ! And when in doubt, just eat a cupcake!